I didn’t realize it until recently, but I am not a grass roots activist for the Second Amendment. I thought I was. I mean, I write letters to my congressman and my senators. I even write letters to prominent politicians in other states when I feel it is necessary and appropriate. I attend rallies. I sign petitions. I traveled to Richmond with two friends to lobby our state senators directly. I write for this blog. I argue with my Leftie friends on Facebook. With those points noted, you can imagine my shock and dismay when I discovered that I am in fact a mindless puppet of the NRA; a drone who receives his marching orders from the nefarious Wayne LaPierre, a man whose ill-repute is known by all the residents of DuPont Circle and Soho. It is shocking to think that none of my actions are in fact the result of sincerely held, rational beliefs that I arrived at through a process of introspection and investigation. No way! If I had done that then I would be blogging about the need to ban AR-15s instead of owning one and writing about the weapon’s virtues.
You see, the “gun lobby” is the real problem in this country. They brainwash people like me into believing Justice Department statistics and accepting classical liberalism as an ideology. I mean really!?! Classical liberalism! What kind of troglodyte would believe in natural rights! We live in an era in which collective action to preserve state authority and limit individual autonomy is what really matters. I know because the intelligentsia told me so.
Now, with a little luck, I can be a right-thinking and truly authentic political activist like those Occupy Wall Street people who took over a park near my office building in DC and pooped on the sidewalks.